Comfortable or Complicated?

Sometimes I feel like my life in terms of relationships will never be easy. I know the saying, when you find the right one it’s just easy.  I’m not sure I really believe this. I know that any relationship is a lot of work and I also know that what you see on the outside is not always what is happening behind closed doors. I have known so many people with  seemingly perfect relationships, but and it is later revealed that what I see with the rest of the world is not always the whole story. Why is this? Is it just people venting about their relationship issues for the sake of their own sanity and their relationship is really near-perfect? Or does every relationship, like life, have as many positives as it has negatives. How do you choose whether a relationship has the right amount of positive to balance out the negative? If you’re happy all the time and completely comfortable with someone for an entire relationship is that healthy or is it boring? Should there be negatives? These relationships issues run through my mind a lot — and many of my questions are still unanswered.

Something with relationships and social media that bothers me the most is when people post all of the wonderful parts of their relationship as a cover. Do I think everyone should air their dirty laundry out for all to see? Absolutely not. Do I see plenty of people who I know have actually really unhealthy relationships writing love stories about their perfect life all over social media? Every. Single. Day. Now, bear with me here. I love love. I love seeing people happy. I can tell when someone is genuinely happy and posting their feelings for the world to see. I embrace that, and I think everyone should as well. It’s fun for me to see someone genuinely content with their partner. However, and maybe I’ve only noticed for people that I really know their relationship, but covering up the negative parts of a relationship and overcompensating with the positive does nothing but give you and your partner a false sense of security. We must be happy if everyone else thinks we’re happy. Right?

Now, I’m just pondering if and when relationships will ever stop being complicated, whether you’re 16 and in puppy love or 45 and just tolerating each other. Adult relationships are a lot like, well, being an adult. What I thought adulting would be like is completely different than what it actually is. I’m slowly realizing that most adults just seem like they know what they’re doing (myself included). The good news is, just acting like I know what I’m doing (and trying my best as I go) allows me to learn so much more than if I had everything figured out. And as a teacher, I do love to learn. I think relationships are a lot like life — you learn as you go. What about you? Do you think love will always be complicated? All in all, I think there has to be a balance. It will never be perfect or even easy but if it’s the right match, it’s worth it. Or so I’m told.

Thanks for reading, lovelies.

– Abby @ TwentyClueless

Side note:

Even if I never find the right one I know I’ve somehow found the most amazing friends an girl could ask for. This past week my grandmother passed away. She was 94 and lived a long fulfilling life and it was definitely her time to go, but the situation was still very emotional for me as you can imagine. I received beautiful cards and flowers from my closest friends and the fact that I have friends that think of me and my family at this time is truly humbling and I feel so blessed to have them around to keep me sane. In the words of Sex and the City ‘Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.’ Love all you crazy cats !

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